he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
