So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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