When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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