So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
