Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
