office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
