It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
is wine microwaveable?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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