Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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