The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
