Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
