Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize