It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
