It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
