i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
