How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
