Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
