I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
