Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
