I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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