It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
