I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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