I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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