Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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