once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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