I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize