My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
