Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He did a backflip because drugs
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
