u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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