Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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