We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
