no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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