Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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