You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
