Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
