Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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