So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
