i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
