i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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