He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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