About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
