so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
ttyl tear gas
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
