I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
