i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
