DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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