Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
