Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
