Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize