I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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