her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I had to cum in my sink.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
