Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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