Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i permit you to call me
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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