you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
