i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
