doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
