babies were throwing up all over the place
The best revenge is premature balding
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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