She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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