But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
