We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
