That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize