Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
