Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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