Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
