It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
