i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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