Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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