What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize