Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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