Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
