I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
