Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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