I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
