dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
