...so i touched it.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
